I Need Your Grace…

Mom, you left us the way you lived your life, with courage, strength, dignity, and honor. I never heard a foul word or mean thought come out of your mouth.

I don’t know how long it will take for you to get there, but I know where you’re going.

I hope that when you get there you are taken care of as much as you have spent a lifetime taking care of others. On the other hand, taking care of others is what brought you so much joy.

Time has a way of taking some things away from you, but I hope when you get there you will remember some of the beautiful moments from your life.

But most of all, I hope you remember all of the people who love you, and all of the many people that you touched.

I hope you will be reminded of all of the lives that were made better simply by knowing you.

I’m heartbroken as I write this, but I’m also comforted knowing that you are at peace and that you are finally able to rest.

Whenever I hear the following lyrics, I always think of you:

“I need your grace,

to remind me,

to find my own”.

You put up one heck of a fight. We are so proud of you.

Rest well mom.

We love you.

RIP Coach

I had many critics during my 27 years of coaching, with most of the criticism coming from the idea that I was too “soft”, and that I tried to have too much fun. I’ve heard it all. I was also criticized for playing on the field with my players during practice, something I did often before the body finally broke down and prevented me from doing so. Otherwise, I would have done so right until the very end. 

In the beginning I was sensitive to the critics, but it didn’t change my style. 

However, in the early 2000’s I had a chance to attend an L.A. Galaxy training session. I was very eager to learn as much as I could from a  “professional” training session, and I even brought a notebook. I was interested in a few things in particular. How did they warmup, how did they scrimmage, and what did their conditioning session look like?

After a light warmup and stretch, the players spent 15 minutes playing tag. Grown men playing tag. And with the exception of some choice language, they were acting like a bunch of 8 year olds. I also noticed how hard they were working. High intensity with many changes of direction, they were pretty tired after the session.

After about 45 minutes of possession and technical work, they broke into teams to scrimmage. Two teams with four goals. The two Galaxy goalkeepers were in two goals, and assistant coaches occupied the other two. The remaining coaches, including the head coach, also took part in the scrimmage. 

After the scrimmage, the players headed over to work with the conditioning coach to finish up the session. They lined up three across, and raced for 30 yards. The idea was that you win three races and you’re done for the day. The harder you work, the sooner you are done. There were plenty of laughs and plenty of trash talking, but there was hard work being done by all. During the cool down and stretch, the players were joking with each other and still continuing to talk trash. 

Grown, professional soccer players having fun. 

After the session I had an opportunity to meet the coach. I asked him if they always had so much fun.

“It’s a game. It’s supposed to be fun”, he said with a smile.

Thank you coach for teaching me a valuable lesson, one that I never forgot and never apologized for again. 

RIP Coach Sigi.

I Hope You Have Fun…

Opening day of fall soccer is upon us again, and there are many playing the first game of their young lives. I hope you have fun.

I hope you have fun, but not in the giggle your way through the game type of fun.

Rather, I hope you have fun because you play hard, and because you discover new skills you never knew you had.

I hope you have fun…

…because, win or lose, you discover what it means to compete.

…because you lost with dignity.

…because you won with grace.

I hope you have fun…

because you learn what it is to play with and to show respect. Not only to your teammates, but to your opponents, the officials, your family, and to the game.

…because you learned that showing respect to your opponent means not only playing hard against them, but by showing occasional compassion to them as well.

I hope you have fun…

…because you discover what it means to want something so bad that you are willing to give it your all.

…because you learn what it’s like to play not only for yourself, but for your teammates, your family, and your coach.

…because you find a confidence in yourself that you never knew you had. Not because you are a great player, but because you are surrounded by people who encourage and support great effort.

I hope you have fun…

…because you discover the joy of sports, and the joy of knowing that this could last a lifetime. …because mom and dad were proud of you.

…because you walked away feeling good about yourself.

And if you’ve been playing for years, and have lost any of the above, I hope you find it again. Good luck to all, and here’s to a successful and healthy season.

– Coach Joel

Thank You Soccer Friends…

Greetings friends.
I have finally come to the realization that it is time to call it a coaching day. This has not been a rash decision, but one that has been creeping up over a period of time. The timing of this decision, through events predicted and some unforeseen, just seemed to make the most sense.
I tell you this not because it will matter much in your day to day life and activities, but rather an opportunity for me to say thank you.
From those early teams, Big Blue Wrecking Crew, Pinkasaurus Rex, Green Pythons, Dream Team, etc.., to Dynamite, Impact, Express, Lightning, and Thunder. To Santa Clarita United, SCV Magic, Crescenta Valley SC, To Valencia HS, and RightStart Soccer. And who would have thought that when we first opened the doors to Lil’ Kickers that over 400 little guys would walk through it.
And while there have been many ups and downs, the ups have far outweighed the downs. But as I get older, the downs have just had a way of telling me that it’s the right time, that perhaps I was starting to overstay my welcome. I don’t take it as a negative time in my life, but rather a way of life telling me it is time to move on to the next challenge, one that I am very much looking forward to. I believe that events bring you to turning points in life, and that this is just one more that eventually will lead me to where I’m supposed to be.
I am so appreciative to those of you who have allowed me to work with your children, and to the many friends that I have made over the years. I cherish those relationships to this day, making sure to keep in touch with as many as I can. As I have always said, if you want to know who your true friends are, coach their kids and you’ll find out. And I have found many true friends.
Thank you to those who have allowed me to work within their organizations, from the late Roy Johnson at AYSO Region 677, and to Jim Mulholland, my first and best mentor. To Sergio Salvadori, Cliff Penick, and my great assistant Scott Zazueta, and co-coaches Steve Sager and Dave Storaker at SCV Magic. Special thanks to Reggie Rivas at Crescenta Valley Soccer Club. Thank you to Sean O’Connell, Sarah and Steve Tuffey, Scott Christie, and Greg Hayes for my amazing time at Valencia HS. Possibly the most fun I have ever had as a coach. 
Thank you to the fellow coaches whom I have had the pleasure of coaching against. It has been a pleasure over the years to go against some great ones – Mike Evans, Randy Brown, Noah Kooiman, Kevin Madden, to name a few. More importantly, good friends off the field.
And a special thank you to my long time friend and recent co-coach Mark Hovis. Your friendship and loyalty is something that I won’t forget any time soon. Thank you to Daphne Coffey for a great two years of working together. 
To my favorite coach, Coach Jessica, as well as being my favorite player, tied of course with her brother, Jason. Thank you both.
Last, but certainly not least, thank you to the many players that I have been privileged enough to coach. From the first time player, to the college bound athlete, you have all taught me something about life, confidence, and perseverance, and have all given me moments that I will remember and cherish forever.
Thank you for the respect and effort that you have given me over the years.
Mostly, thank you for the memories.
There are many that I have not mentioned, but after 27 years it would be hard to mention everyone.
While a lot of it was good fortune, good timing, and a lot of luck to be here, I have never taken for granted how lucky I was to be in this position,
Aside from being a father, I appreciate the opportunity all of you have given me to be the thing that I have enjoyed being more than anything else in my life.
A coach.
Thank you.

Dear Mom…

I once scored half of my teams’ points in an 8 year old youth basketball game. Yes, you read that right. Half of the points. I’ll give you a moment to process that…….Anyway, we went on to win 4-2. But it almost never happened. As I was walking out the door, my mother stopped me dead in my tracks and scolded me on how dirty my elbows and knees were.

“You are not going out the door looking like that!”

After realizing that she wasn’t kidding, and after failing to get her to understand the importance of my presence at the game, I gave in and cleaned up to her satisfaction. 

And that is the greatest lesson my mom ever taught me. Don’t leave home with dirty knees and elbows.

Actually, she taught me a lesson in pride. Then, and many times since. Be your best, look your best, and always put your best foot forward. 

As the song says, “Our clothes were old, but never were they dirty”.

She taught us pride, and more importantly, she taught us respect. 

To have it, give it, and earn it. 

And while I have fallen short many times, you never judge and you always love. A stern word at times, a warm hug at times, and a quiet reassurance at others. 

Thank you mom for that.

And for much, much more.

Another Tomorrow…

Admittedly, I do not spend much time in prayer or meditation. Certainly not as much as I should. Maybe because there is that part of me that wonders if He would even hear me, or even have time to. Nothing more than my ignorance or, perhaps, that shadow of doubt.
This is not meant to offend anyone, just being honest.
When I do pray, I do it quietly and privately, even discretely. Maybe that is why I don’t do it enough, because maybe I figure with that kind of commitment, I probably wouldn’t listen to me either.
But something funny and strangely nice happened today. I did it and I believed it. Maybe because of the many things that you, my friends and family, posted today on social media. The wonderful pictures and thoughts on the day that “He has risen”. You all looked so happy and content. Maybe that is how He, as some of you put it sometimes, talked to me, “See, look at the difference that I make in the lives of so many of the people that you love and respect”.
Or maybe seeing all of you and just being moved to do it was just a coincidence.
Either way, it got me thinking. More importantly, it got me praying.
I prayed first for my kids, that they continue to be happy and healthy.
I prayed for my family, that they could also remain healthy.
I prayed that I can soon return to full health.
I prayed that difficult decisions that I will soon be making will be the right ones.
I prayed for creative wisdom and the inspiration to finally complete a life long dream.
I prayed for the knowledge that He won’t just do these things for me, but that He will give me the tools to do them myself.
I thanked Him for the wonderful people that He has put in my life, and for the courage to let go of the people whose purpose is to bring me down.
I prayed for the wisdom to know the difference.
Mostly, I prayed that I will know when He is talking to me, or when He has someone or something doing the talking for Him, and for the ability to see it.
Bottom line, I prayed.
It felt pretty good, and I suppose and hope that I will do it again tomorrow.
Oh yeah, one last thing as I laid down at the end of the day.
I pray for that one thing that not everyone gets to have, and the one thing that I will be most grateful for.
Another tomorrow.

Team…

We’re a team.
We win together and we lose together.
We celebrate and we mourn together.
Defeats are softened and victories are sweetened because we did them together.
We’re a team.

As a coach…

As a coach, I’d rather inspire you to do something than make you do something.
If I fail to do that, then I’ve failed as a leader.

May This Day…

May this day…
…bring you happiness
…make you count your blessings
…find you surrounded by friends, family, and loved ones
…find you surrounded by friends, family, and loved ones, and if not, then the ability to see or hear them through the wonders of technology
…find you surrounded by friends, family, and loved ones, and if not, then may their memory put a smile on your face
…bring you lots of food, laughs, and if desired, drink
…bring you, if needed, Uber
…make you realize that while you are admiring the luxury car next to you at the red light and wishing, there is a someone watching you, pushing their cart in the cold, and wishing they had yours
…give you not what you want, but that it brings you what you need
…give you the strength to not return what doesn’t fit (for a bigger size), but the inspiration to bring ourselves down to the proper size (guilty)
…make you wonder why we don’t share the greetings and warm exchanges we have with strangers during this time of year, and carry them over throughout the entire year
…make you realize that it starts with you
Finally, may this day, above all, find the Lakers competitive enough to give me a reason to watch a Christmas Day game to the bitter end, win or lose.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!